It’s not when you begin, but where you end.
It’s not where you came from, but where you end up that matters the most. Denis Waitley the well-respected author and speaker was talking about his childhood with Chris Widener, in the “Made For Success” series.
Denis said he grew up poor, but he never went to bed hungry. He said that when his mom made his lunch sandwiches for school, he had two slices of bread, mayo, lettuce with a little salt and pepper. When he asked what kind of sandwich he had, she told him it was a chicken sandwich without the chicken. My mom just called it like it was; a “mayo sandwich”.
When he asked, how do you get the chicken? She said, he would have to go mow some lawns, and make some money, then go to the store and bring the chicken home, so she would be able to put some in his sandwich.
Took me back to the time when I would have fried bologna sandwiches on white bread with mayo. And when it was lunch time and I finally got a chance to eat I would pull my little sandwiches out of a greasy brown paper bag because back in those days, plastic zip lock bags were not available and I didn’t have a lunch box.
Sometimes the early childhood struggles develop a certain mind set and work attitude. If you don’t have much to start off with, you try harder and work harder to make up the difference. You may be trying to prove something to yourself or to get the approval of your parents. When you see your parents struggle financially, you can take the approach that you will do whatever it takes, to overcome.
When you do achieve success, and overcome your circumstances you appreciate it even more than a person who may have had it easier. You remember where you came from, and the road you traveled. I think people who struggled and overcame, remember where they came from and are more willing to gave back to society.
When Denis was nine and it was bedtime, his dad came to his room and leaned up against the light switch and blew towards the ceiling, and the lights went out. How did you do that, asked Denis? His dad said it was because he had been drinking and he had bad breath. But when the lights out for you my son, the lights out all over the world. Don’t grow up like me. You don’t have to be like me. When you sleep, the world is sleeping in your dreams. When you wake up, the world stretches and wakes up with you.
When you are not feeling good, and the world is not a good place, the only world you will know, will be the world you see through your eyes. Those words stayed with Denis because later that year, his dad left for good.
The dream became reality, because Denis became the male of the house. He had to set the tone, assume responsibility at a young-age for his younger brother and sister. I was nine, when I was forced to go stay with my dad. Mom was sick and she had to go to the hospital so I was sent to live with my dad while my younger brother and sister were sent to live with their father. Mom said something that stuck with me. She said son, don’t make a lot of babies, do something with your life.
When she got out of the hospital, she let me continue to stay with my dad. I didn’t appreciate it at the time but, it was the best thing for me. Suddenly, I felt like an only child, but I was given discipline and structure which I really needed. I became responsible for me with some firm guidance from my dad. She moved a lot over the years but I would always find her. Riding my bike, is how I always stayed in touch. I could always get a warm hug and a hot meal, and when I left she always told me to be safe and stay out of trouble.
Mom did the best she could with what she had, and I must have been a hand full. I take my hat off to all the single parents that do the best that they can. I was blessed to be influenced by both. I spend the next nine years with dad. When I graduated from high school I left to join the military. Then Uncle Sam, guided my steps.
Training, became a turning point in my life. I got love and support from mom, structure and discipline from dad and more structure and discipline while in the military. Did you know that Denis Waitley was a US Naval Academy graduate and a former Navy pilot?
The Empower Network provides structure and training through their training modules. You don’t have to do push-ups and sit ups but you got to “blog daily”. The Viral Blogging program shows you how to effectively blog. The Inner Circle gives instructions and encouragement like a mom. All the other programs give more structure and discipline like the military.
The live events are like a family reunions, where we come together and learn how to help each other, even more. If you do the work you get the results. Remember everyone has a different learning curve. If you don’t stay, you miss your curve. If you want to win this game of success you got to stay in the game. This has been straight talk, no chaser.
H.G.M.
Internet comments
Liz English
Thank you for sharing Earl. I remember fried bologna sandwiches. My mom would make them for us for dinner when my dad worked the night shift. I also used a paper bag when plastic bags weren’t yet created yet. Everything does begin, when you begin. But as you have said the whole point is where you want to end up, and what you did with your life along the way.
Daphne Dobson
Great post Earl! I love the “mayo sandwich” story and your story. I can certainly relate to both. I love that you say here, “It’s not where you come from but where you end up that matters”. If the dream is big enough, the facts doesn’t count. Thanks for sharing!
Earl Hackett
Thanks for your comments. I still wonder why, some who had so much, end up losing it all, later in life. While others who have nothing, end up well off. And then there are some, who never escape their former situation.
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